10 Days till Christmas

Christmas is love
Love of family
Love of humanity
God's love given a face
Chistmas is not feeling alone
Friends and family
Churches and choirs
God with us
Christmas is celebration
Hope and light
Finding and giving
God making all things new

I have no delusions about that being a good poem (Do I even dare call
it a poem?), but I wanted something I could write quickly tonight. It
finally feelslike Christmas season to me. But it doesn't feel like it
to many people. And how are we supposed to celebrate with the recent
deaths? We can celebrate the life those people did have a chance to
live. They might not have been long lives--all of them cut too short--
but all of those lives did matter and make a difference. They will be
loved and remembered. With sadness and warmth. When we let fear
control our lives and lose our hope, that is when evil wins.
So love. Love more this season than you ever have before. Be even
kinder and more giving to everyone. Pay for the person behind you in
line. Smile when you walk by people. Ask how people are and really
listen. Tell people you love them and hug them. Do it out of
overflowing love.

11 Days till Christmas (sort of)

            Okay, so it’s after midnight, so technically it’s 10 days till Christmas, but I haven’t written my 11 yet. And any and all mistakes, I blame on it being 1:30 am and it’s getting to the point where I’m weird in sleep deprivation (I’m yawning but not tired).

            Caroling for Cans was a great success. I haven’t counted how many nonperishable food items we collected, but we had fun and spread the joy. And there’s nothing like talking to friends for three hours about God and how there’s no shame. It’s an amazing reminder that we are not alone. We all go through similar things. There are times when I try to sound really positive because I’m a Christian, I should be happy 24-7-365, right? Because David totally was? And so was everyone in the Bible. The truth is when we ostracize ourselves because of how we feel, we are ostracizing others too. We all can relate to each other. We’re a lot more alike than we are different.

            And to tie it in more with Christmas than just caroling, there are those Christmas songs everybody knows. And there are those favorite Christmas songs that it seems only we know. Whether we like them or hate them, know them or not, we still all know the feeling of Christmas. I know there are people who’ve never celebrated Christmas or maybe never heard the songs, but there is that love that we all feel. You know what I mean? (If not, I’m blaming it on needing sleep).

            Good night! Hope your dreams are sweet and lead you where you need to be.

Nina Simone

I love Nina Simone. She was brave and free. She strove for perfection until she decided that freedom was more important (“I had spent many years pursuing excellence, because that is what classical music is all about... Now it was dedicated to freedom, and that was far more important.”). I love the way her voice moans, cracks, floats, yells, flies. I wouldn’t say that she has a pretty voice. Sometimes it’s hideous. But it is always beautiful. It always has an unbelievable amount of heart in it, whether that heart is breaking or bubbling with love. Then you had her piano playing. It’s just like her voice. Pianos are rarely as expressive as when she plays. She wasn’t afraid to use its full range.

            I’m having a Nina Simone kind of day. The news about Newtown, CT school shooting (It went beyond the school, but I don’t know what else to call it), is horrifying and devastating and heartbreaking. There are no words for it. There are no songs that can capture the feelings either. Images might as well be blank. There are times when nothing but silence where a beating heart and the fall of tears are the only things that can even begin to express something. This world has become obsessed with words and images and songs, but there are becoming more and more events that all of those fall short.

            Maybe even thoughts and prayers seem to be useless. But prayer is never useless. It is always heard and always felt. Maybe you wonder how God could let this happen. He didn’t. God did not want this to happen. God is good and everything that comes from Him is good. This is not from God. God is all powerful, but there are battles going on around us. If we could see these battles, we might begin to understand. But as things are now, as we see and try to comprehend now, there is no understanding. But there is peace beyond understanding. There is love beyond tragedy.

            Today I am so thankful that I am alive. I am so thankful that it hurts because that means I care and love and am human. I’m not thankful that there is pain. My heart is broken for all affected by the shooting that happened today. I’ll be praying for the students, the teachers, parents, families, first responders, volunteers, and families.

 

 

Feelings, Nina Simone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mH5ZE3N8cxU

12 Days till Christmas

Oh, right. Writing. That thing I haven’t been doing too much of lately. I could make excuses, we all know how busy holiday season is.

            Ever wonder when the holiday season did get so busy? When I was little it was just a fun time. Then when I did have lots of concerts and stuff around the holiday season, it was still a lot of fun because it was about sharing the joy. This year doesn’t seem quite as blissful. I’m still sharing the Christmas joy through music and gift giving, but I feel less of the joy myself.

            I miss when Christmas movies had to do with the spirit of the holidays. So many of the newer ones are just more convenient to have around holiday time. I’m not usually one to cry at movies, but I could use a good movie that makes me want to cry. I want to be reminded of my humanity and inspired to do better in life, not just do better at coming across the right guy and falling in love. I’ll admit, usually I like the Christmas love stories, but they aren’t enough this year.

            Tomorrow I’ll be going caroling for cans with some friends. For those who don’t know, caroling for cans is just like door to door caroling but you ask for non-perishable food donations for the local food bank. It’s a lot of fun, spreads Christmas cheer, and is for a good cause. But can I be honest? I’m not as excited about it as I have been in the past. As soon as we get out there, I’ll be happy. But right now I’m thinking about how long it’s been since I’ve sung and wondering if it’ll be cold. Is it weird that I want it to snow while we’re out? It doesn’t feel like Christmas without snow.

            When I was about 10 years old, it wasn’t snowing so I watched the snow on my family’s screen saver while drinking hot chocolate. No, I think it was hot Tang because two off things made it better (Don’t shot down hot Tang until you try it. Just prepare Tang as you normally would but in a microwavable mug and microwave it. I guess you could do water heated over the stove, but that just seems silly). So, I guess I’ve always liked snow. I’ve definitely liked it around the holidays. I’ll wait to tell you about when I came to love snow on Wednesday. It’ll be much more fitting.

            Anyway, I’ll be counting down the 12 days till Christmas by sharing things about the Holiday or writing short stories that relate to it. Christmas is usually my favorite time of year. Once it starts feeling more like Christmas, I’ll be feeling better. I hope you all are having a happy holiday season!

Romance Novels

            Yeah, any guys who read this—beware! (It’d be really nice to know who my audience is wink, wink. But I guess the not knowing is kind of nice. I don’t have to worry about writing something uninteresting to you or offending you.) (and guys, you don't really need to beware. I just think that's the first thing that I guy would think when he hears the words "romance novel") I’m going to talk about the dreaded romance novels.

            In my mind, romance novels are somewhere between a woman’s best enemy and her worst friend. They are empowering and totally destructive. I guess it also depends on what kind of romance novel they are too… Mainly my experience with them have been the historical fiction ones (Harlequin Historical, maybe?). I’m definitely no expert on romance novels or feminism or how the romance genre affects women. I just know my experience and what I believe.

            Romance novels give a reflection of truth while spinning total lies at the same time. Let’s look at Twilight. It is not only fantasy that vampires and werewolves exist, but the romance is a boat load of fantasy. Sorry, there’s no high school girl who is ready for that level of attraction. He fricken stalks her and watches her sleep without her knowing it! No, there is no romance in that. They are both obsessed, which does happen in high school. But there is a thick line between obsession and love. There is no “one and only”. There is no “forever and ever”. There is the one you love and there is the lifetime you have to spend with them (Oh, I believe in heaven, but I’m going to be a bit too amazed at the glory of God to care too much about who I married. I’m just going to want to worship forever!).

            Then there is the even more common mistake in romance novels between lust and love. Don’t get me wrong, I love that the two love each other’s bodies. That’s good and important. But when they’re jumping into bed before they know how they and/or the other person feels, that’s not healthy. And more often than not, right after the sex of night together, there’s a fight. Doubts boil over and the characters are starting to have regrets. Hmm, think those were preventable by an honest conversation? There’s always still some secret. Yes, let’s look at get naked and be intimate, but only physically. Emotionally, I’m going to stay fully dressed and aloof. That’s love, right?

            You want to know what’s totally seductive to me? Les Miserables. The Elderly are Made to go out When Convenient. Jean Valjean still has his arm in a sling (the end of the chapter). There is so much love and romance happening there. The first one is when Marius and Cosset finally get to talk because they have been admiring each other from a distance, in love since they first really saw each other. The first thing that comes out of Marius’s mouth? Ramblings. Then they sit in the garden and just talk about everything until “These two hearts poured themselves put to each other, so that at the end of an hour, it was the young man who had the girl’s soul and the girl who had the soul of the young man… When they had finished, when they had told each other everything, she laid her head on his shoulder, and asked him: ‘What is your name?’” I love that. What’s a name when you know everything about him because he told you it all and you shared yourself right back. They don’t know the first thing about romance, but why would they need to?

            The second chapter I mentioned, the last part is their wedding night. I don’t care how good of a love scene is in a bodice ripper novel, just give me some good old fashioned Hugo. I’d rather have angels, light, and joy than undressing and touching. I don’t need to know what happened behind closed doors, I just want to know that it was love and it was pure.

Monday

Monday

Up

            Five am
Laundry
            Four loads
Vacuum
            Three rooms
Cook
            Two meals
Snitch
            One cookie
Fun
            All day

Okay, not all true but I thought the countdown was kind of fun. Yeah, short but at least I wrote today, right? I’ll try harder tomorrow…

Once upon a time…

            There was a girl that spent her days looking out her window. As she grew up, she became afraid of the world because of the stories her mother told her, but the woman pretending to be her mother was really an evil witch who stole the girl when she was just a baby (yeah, I need to learn to name characters when they first show up. But this is free writing and I’m not caring about mistakes. Ha! So, let’s call the girl Emma and the witch Zeno).

            Emma became so afraid of the real world that she even stopped looking out the windows. By the time she was 15, all the windows had thick curtains over them. And when she was 18, the curtains were replaced with boards nailed to the window frames. Zeno was delighted. She did not want Emma to be interested in the world. At first it was because she was afraid that Emma might be recognized and Emma would be taken away from her. But as Emma grew up it became obvious that Emma was growing more obvious that she was growing more beautiful every day.

            Zeno knew the cruelty of the world for being judged by her disturbing appearance. But she also knew that the world can be just as cruet to beauty in a different way. She had grown to love Emma and did not want her to be hurt thus.

 

Yeah, that’s good for now. Sorry if you want more writing. My life has just been a bit… My mind has been busy with other things. I’ll try to get better about writing, and hopefully it’ll be things you will like. Until next time.