Snowed

Creative writing?! Yay! So good to start a short story (at least that's what it is for now :) ) Happy readings!

Lola had always loved the snow. She liked the cold--being able to wear warm sweaters, thick socks, curling up under blankets, lighting the fireplace.
But she felt weird liking winter. Lola was a name for some dark beauty who loved the summer and would probably be best described as hot. Lola had never felt "hot". People would describe her as cute, maybe pretty, but never hot. She'd much rather wear an oversized sweatshirt than a bikini. Lola was the name for a temptress. She wouldn't turn down cuddling with a guy she liked, but she was no seductress.
Shoveling snow was fun for her. Good exercise and quiet time. After work she liked walking in the snow--being bundled head to foot--followed by a warm shower and reading a book in front of the fire. She'd be fine sharing those activities with a husband.
Lola lived in a small town with not too many men her age. Everyone seemed to be married or be young children from said marriages. Not easy to find a date here.
Maybe she should try online dating. She never wanted to seem desperate, but it worked for some people. It probably wouldn't work for her though. She'd set it up and forget about it. It'd be up to the guys to seek her out. But how much attention would "SnowLover24" get? Actually, maybe she had already set up an account... Yeah, she wasn't good at meeting guys in real life or online.
She smiled, remembering a post she'd seen earlier that week: "Why can't guys hang out at bookstores instead of bars? If a guy bought me a book, that'd work out much more in his favor than buying me a drink." Yeah, if a guy bought Lola a book, she'd be on her first step to falling in love. But she didn't go to bookstores that much. She borrowed most books from the library (How would that conversation go? "Can I check out that book for you?" or would he ask if she had any fine he could pay? She laughed at the thought). The books she did buy were usually used. She liked buying marked up books, seeing what the previous owner had thought of it. It was like having a conversation with a person.
Maybe she'd leave a note in one of her favorite library books. Try and strike up a conversation with someone. She was better with writing words than saying them. What was the worst that could happen? She get ignored. That wasn't so bad. Besides, maybe... No, she wouldn't get her hopes up. All she wanted was a good conversation about books with a stranger.

Falling

It’s not a fear of heights. And it’s not so much a fear of falling. It’s a fear of landing. Hard. It I had wings, you wouldn’t see me on the ground.

Kind of like the leaves in fall. Beautiful. Then they fall. And they get walked all over. And for some people, the crunchier the better.

I’m not afraid of falling in love. I’m afraid of the crash landing and being walked on. Give me wings before asking me to jump. Don’t make me into a fiery-red leaf only to fall alone. Cutoff and drying up.

Want me to fall? You first.

Lending books

           So I was on Pinterest today and saw pins about “If you damage my book, you’d better run!” I guess I’m not like that…at all. I buy most of my books used and borrow a lot from the library. I’m used to them having marks, stains, and sometimes crumbs. And I kind of like it that way. I mean, you should take care of library books and not mark them up. But That’s a sign of a book I love, a book that made me think, a book that I was comfortable (Just a note: I have never written in, stained, or gotten crumbs in library books. Books I have bought…maybe). If a book’s spine is falling apart and the cover is bent, it means it’s been well used and well loved. I’m not attached to the book; I’m attached to the story.

That being said, about a year and a half ago I gave a guy friend of mine a book that I didn’t think I’d ever get around to reading. It was from a class so I had written in it some and bent the front cover a tiny bit. I’m borrowing the book now. It looks completely new other than where I’d made my marks. It feels like I somehow ruined it before even giving it to my friend! I love opening a book and seeing marks in it. I want to know what the previous owner thought about it or thought was important. Part of me wants to return the book before I damage it some other way. Part of me wants to be a total rebel and write/draw on more pages (just ridiculous things would be even better). But most of me just wants to finish the book with as little possibility of marking it.

And a nothing thing I’ve learned from this experience, lending a book to somebody is kind of intimate. I’ve leant or given other books, but mostly to female friends. Plus, this book has two naked guys on the cover (because it’s a Greek Mythology book, not because—well, yeah, there is a lot of sleeping around I guess… But that’s because the gods can’t seem to keep it in their pants. And I’m including goddesses in that “gods”). Leaving it cover up is weird, and thinking about those two naked guys have seen me in various stages of being dressed… it’s just weird. Plus, is there any sort of etiquette about reading barrowed books in bed? So weird…

Finishing strong

            If you’re anything like me you’re probably wondering where 2013 went. It’s not only October, but halfway through October! According to my count, there’s only 77 days left in 2013. I’m planning on using mine well. I talked about this in my blog “One step at a time” (http://onestepatatimelynne.blogspot.com/) and I’d thought I’d share some of my list here. I’d encourage you to write one. If I’m going to make 2014 my best year yet, that takes preparing for it now. I don’t want to waste another day wondering where I’m headed.

Things to do to finish 2013 strong:

1.      Read all of the Action Bible

2.      Finish Apollodorus

3.      Practice the piano for 15 hours

4.      Practice clarinet for 10 hours

5.      Practice guitar for 15 hours

6.      Practice drum for 5 hours

7.      Practice voice for 15 hours

8.      Write 77000 words in Face Value

9.      Write 30 free writing posts (can I get some excitement? Hello? Is anyone even reading these? Echo…)

10.  Finish Snow White section of Spinning Straw into Gold

11.  Finish my book bag (the fabric has the alphabet on it! I’m super excited!)

12.  Get back down to 130 lbs

13.  Go to a poetry slam

14.  Make two more videos for youtube channel

15.  Finish the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

16.  Read The Hobbit

17.  Re-download Audible

18.  Vote (This one should be on everybody over 18s list. Make your voice count!)

19.  Go dancing

20.  Reorganize bookshelves

21.  Copy list of dreams to put on wall

22.  Draw Iron Man on iron for white elephant (again, I need to take a picture of the one I made for myself and post it. I love being a nerd)

23.  Pray for a complete stranger

24.  Do caroling for cans (super fun way to spread holiday cheer and do something good for the food bank in your area)

25.  Do 5 more drawings/paintings/artsy things

26.  Ear training 50 times

27.  1 hike/snowshoe

28.  Talk to somebody new about writing dream

29.  Organize desk

 

There’s many more on my list. Cleaning house, organizing my life and living space, spending time with people I haven’t seen in a while, etc. They’re mostly little things but I think it’ll make a definite difference in my life.

You

You
Three little letters
That distract me endlessly
Make my mind
Fuzz
Freeze
Focus
Run in circles
 
You
Sometimes the most amazing word
Sometimes the hardest word
Always the word
That brings feelings
 
You
Whispered
Screamed
Sighed
Accused
Requested
Pleaded
Derided
Moaned
Vowed
Cried
Scoffed
Murmured
Claimed
But never just said
 
You
The only thing
That will ever need
To be said
To reveal everything

You

Dreams

I love those movies and books that are based on a list but somehow end up being super inspiring. Carpe Diem, grab life and make things happen. I’ve even made list of my own a couple of times. And I’ll find them years later and it kind of is depressing…

1.      Ride a roller coaster. –Check. Finally did that two years ago.
2.      Go on a date. –Ahh, nope.
3.      Get a tattoo. –Yay, another one I can check off!
4.      Get in shape. –Maybe at one point, but I’m currently the heaviest I’ve ever been (and hating it)…
5.      Do Karaoke. –No. And I’ve been feeling super pitchy lately when I sing.

So… Those always went well for me. Dream big for a month of two, feel like I can take on the world! And  then life takes over. It’s not that reality hits. None of my dreams (aside from being an author) have been terribly big. They’ve all been fairly realistic. But I just can’t seem to decide they are worth whatever risk they require…

Somewhere along the way I’ve become a 25 year old spinster—and being 25 shouldn’t feel this old! There’s still plenty of time in my life to become almost anything. There’s nothing tying me down. Yet, I feel completely stuck.

Where do I go now? Write a new list and hope this one sticks? I can’t even think of what I feel like putting on it. I know what I want in life, but none of it feels appropriate for a “to do list”. I would want it to be fun and exciting. I want it to be me dreaming big. Yet I want it to be something I can do in a year. I need something to make this next year worth it. That takes “find love” or “get published” off the list. And reading all of Jane Austen’s novels, while awesome, isn’t exactly exciting.

I guess it doesn’t matter how I feel right now. If I don’t change my mood, who will? If I have something to look forward to, that’s all I need. Just one step at a time. One step forward at a time will take me any place I want to go. So here’s my new list of things to do from this day to the end of 2014:

1.      Fall in love—I don’t care if it’s falling in love with an amazing guy or falling in love with my life, I deserve to be in love! And my life does deserve more appreciation.
2.      Send a letter to a random address—I for some reason love the mystery and wondering. Nothing will probably come of it, but you never know.
3.      Take a photo ever day for a year—to prove that every day is something new and a gift.
4.      Feel breathe takingly _________ --beautiful, hot, weird, whatever. It’s time I appreciate my body and be okay with getting attention.
5.      Leave a note in a library book—share the love of a book.
6.      Drive to a secluded place during a snow storm and turn my brights on—Simple, but beautiful.
7.      Do Karaoke by myself in public—whether I sound great of terrible, I need to just accept it.