I convince myself I'm sick more than I would like to admit. I think,
"this teacher wouldn't push me so hard if I had a sore throught." So I
clear my throat until it does become sore. It's easy to prettend to be
tired. I'm already hard on my body, so I'll finally listen to its
complaining and aching. I know that it is all in my head, but I feel
better having an excuse.
I know, I know it needs to stop. I need to get serious about my
schooling, finding a job, figuringout how I'm going to make out in the
"real world." If I haven't been living in the real world for the past
18 years, where have I been living?
I am a hard worker, most of the time. Sometimes I get tired of working
so hard though! Don't I deserve a break? It's not like I'm the only
one who does it. I bet some of my teaches even do it. It's my senior
year. I should have some time to enjoy it. Having a few projects that
aren't my best because I'm not feeling well won't hurt anybody. It's
not like I'm trying to get valevictorian or into a presigious
university. I'll just go to a community college until I really figure
things out. I would just get a job, but my parent's won't let me.
Things aren't going to be changing any time soon. Why can't they just
let things be? Why can't anybody just let me be?
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