Mine

            I was listening to the radio yesterday and “Wanted” by Hunter Hays came on. I’ve heard it plenty of times, but suddenly the line “I want to call you mine” stood out to me. It’s probably not the first time that has happened. You see, there was something that made me realize how nice it would be to be able to call somebody mine and to be his. And last night was the first time I’ve heard that song since knowing that that particular relationship isn’t going to work out.
            And I realized that as much as I would like to say I’ll do better next time or I’ll be better at showing my feelings, I’m not sure I honestly could. There was a time when I said too much, and that is still probably the biggest regret of my life. People always say it’s the things you don’t say or do that you regret the most, and a lot of times this is true. But there are definitely times when you can say or do too much. If it makes you seem in anyway stalker-ish, safest bet is not to do it. I’m still figuring out what the right amount to say and how to say it is.
            Actually, I’m feeling okay about this not having worked out. Sure I could have done more, but I did do some things to give hints about how I felt. He didn’t see them or didn’t want to see them. We’re friends and that’s probably what I need most right now anyway.

            And on a somewhat related note, being single during the holidays isn’t the scariest thing ever! Trust me, I’ve spent 25 years of holidays single. Another thing I’ve realized this year is that I’d rather be happy being single over the holidays than fretting over whether this relationship is working out or looking for a guy to fill an emptiness. There is no emptiness in singles’ hearts over the holiday seasons. It’s a myth. There is way too much love from God, family, friends, and even strangers this time of year to feel alone. Go out and really celebrate the season with family and friends! And if you still feel like there’s emptiness, it’s not a boyfriend or girlfriend that you need. Never expect another human to be able to fill your every need because you can’t fill their every need either! Don’t put that kind of pressure on people or yourself. Just enjoy the company you do have.