This blog is to share ideas and for me to write short stories. Enjoy!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Aug 28, 2012


So, this blog will be where I post daily (I hope! Will definitely try for!) free writing. You know, get that brain working, creative juices flowing, try something new and different. I am planning to look up free writing exercises so I’m not stuck in a rut of my limited creativity. HOWEVER, God is doing a total overhaul on my heart tonight, and I really want to share.

            So, me and my Bible tend to have an on again off again relationship. I’m not proud of it. I claim that I want to read the Bible more, but if it were such a burning desire, I would read it more. I’m trying to get better at it though. And when I do, God speaks to me. A lot of times, I feel like God whispers to me. I cannot count the times I have prayed to God that He would shout at me because then what He is saying might come across more. Not an angry shout, but I loud shout so that I will hear it over whatever is distracting me. I love how gentle God has been to me, but I get really sick when I get stuck by the same things over and over again.

            Anyway, I just read my Bible. I started off in Psalms (always a good place to start or end, but you need more than that). Okay, I should explain how I’m reading my Bible (the joy of free writing: I can go where ever I want because it is a rough draft, that probably will never be fixed. Ever read the article “Sh*tty First Drafts” [http://buddha-rat.squarespace.com/shitty-first-drafts/]? It’s funny and very true. So, yeah. All that to say, if you aren’t following me real well on the free writes, don’t let that discourage you from read more of my work. Hopefully one day I’ll be published. If that happens, you can trust that at least 2 or 3 other people have read my work to make sure it all makes sense. And I’m sure I will have read it enough to have it almost memorized. Hopefully, if I get published you will buy my book(s), love it/them, and recommend it/them to all your friends. Going back to my original train of thought). I have about 5 bookmarks in my Bible. One to keep track of where I am in the Old Testament (Genisus), one in a Wisdom Book (Psalms), one in a Prophetic Book (Jeremiah), and one in the New Testament (John—I’ll go back for Matthew, Mark, and Luke but I really wanted to start in John. It’s been recommended to me to start there.). I kind of pick and choose where I want to read. My goal is to read at least one chapter of all 5 each day, but I’m just getting back into it. Plus, when I read Jeremiah chapter 2, my heart burned. Go, Go read it right now then come back to finish this. Go!

            So, it’s not exactly a happy chapter (see why I told you to go read it first?). But, it totally shows how good God is in our wanderings. Notice how it’s never God who wanders away from us? He is always right there with us, calling our names, tugging on our hearts to turn back towards Him so that we can see His face, know that He is good, and feel His love. All we need to do is turn around, and there God is! It’s not that we have to turn around and run a million miles to get to where He is. He is where you are right now. Have you said hi to God today? Have you told Him He is welcome in all areas of your life and can rearrange things how He wants them?

            I haven’t exactly been the most obedient child lately. I’ve been pretty lazy, afraid, and like that that donkey. God has told me over and over that He is the provider, that He is in control. I knew that, but did I really believe it? Sometimes. I’ll claim that I doubt myself, not God. But really? God made me, and God only makes good things. I’m far from perfect (especially in my wanderings), but God still loves me. Not only does He love me, He is jealous for me! Romans 3:23 definitely describes me. And after Jeremiah 2, I finally feel real repentance for all of that. And it feels so good! It doesn’t seem right that repentance should feel like relief, but it does because I am forgiven.

            God has been SO good to me! I love Him more than anythings!

 

Related things:
I am a Christian (Maya Angelou): http://www.snopes.com/glurge/christian.asp
When I say “I am a Christian (by Carol Wimmer): http://wilk4.com/misc/whenisay.htm

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