So, this blog will be where I post
daily (I hope! Will definitely try for!) free writing. You know, get that brain
working, creative juices flowing, try something new and different. I am
planning to look up free writing exercises so I’m not stuck in a rut of my limited
creativity. HOWEVER, God is doing a total overhaul on my heart tonight, and I really want to share.
So, me and
my Bible tend to have an on again off again relationship. I’m not proud of it.
I claim that I want to read the Bible more, but if it were such a burning
desire, I would read it more. I’m trying to get better at it though. And when I
do, God speaks to me. A lot of times, I feel like God whispers to me. I cannot
count the times I have prayed to God that He would shout at me because then
what He is saying might come across more. Not an angry shout, but I loud shout
so that I will hear it over whatever is distracting me. I love how gentle God
has been to me, but I get really sick when I get stuck by the same things over
and over again.
Anyway, I
just read my Bible. I started off in Psalms (always a good place to start or
end, but you need more than that). Okay, I should explain how I’m reading my
Bible (the joy of free writing: I can go where ever I want because it is a rough
draft, that probably will never be fixed. Ever read the article “Sh*tty First
Drafts” [http://buddha-rat.squarespace.com/shitty-first-drafts/]? It’s funny
and very true. So, yeah. All that to say, if you aren’t following me real well
on the free writes, don’t let that discourage you from read more of my work.
Hopefully one day I’ll be published. If that happens, you can trust that at least
2 or 3 other people have read my work to make sure it all makes sense. And I’m
sure I will have read it enough to have it almost memorized. Hopefully, if I
get published you will buy my book(s), love it/them, and recommend it/them to
all your friends. Going back to my original train of thought). I have about 5
bookmarks in my Bible. One to keep track of where I am in the Old Testament
(Genisus), one in a Wisdom Book (Psalms), one in a Prophetic Book (Jeremiah),
and one in the New Testament (John—I’ll go back for Matthew, Mark, and Luke but
I really wanted to start in John. It’s been recommended to me to start there.).
I kind of pick and choose where I want to read. My goal is to read at least one
chapter of all 5 each day, but I’m just getting back into it. Plus, when I read
Jeremiah chapter 2, my heart burned. Go, Go read it right now then come back to
finish this. Go!
So, it’s
not exactly a happy chapter (see why I told you to go read it first?). But, it
totally shows how good God is in our wanderings. Notice how it’s never God who
wanders away from us? He is always
right there with us, calling our names, tugging on our hearts to turn back
towards Him so that we can see His face, know that He is good, and feel His
love. All we need to do is turn around, and there God is! It’s not that we have
to turn around and run a million miles to get to where He is. He is where you
are right now. Have you said hi to God today? Have you told Him He is welcome
in all areas of your life and can rearrange
things how He wants them?
I haven’t
exactly been the most obedient child lately. I’ve been pretty lazy, afraid, and
like that that donkey. God has told me over and over that He is the provider,
that He is in control. I knew that, but did I really believe it? Sometimes. I’ll
claim that I doubt myself, not God. But really? God made me, and God only makes
good things. I’m far from perfect (especially in my wanderings), but God still
loves me. Not only does He love me, He is jealous for me! Romans 3:23 definitely
describes me. And after Jeremiah 2, I finally feel real repentance for all of
that. And it feels so good! It doesn’t seem right that repentance should feel
like relief, but it does because I am forgiven.
God has
been SO good to me! I love Him more than anythings!
Related things:
How He Loves Us (song): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps
I am a Christian (Maya Angelou): http://www.snopes.com/glurge/christian.aspWhen I say “I am a Christian (by Carol Wimmer): http://wilk4.com/misc/whenisay.htm
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